I can’t quite believe this will be my second Mother’s day with my daughter. I promise to stop sharing old posts but this one is still so important to me because, while it may seem odd, Mother’s Day can actually be one of the hardest days for so many women.
I wrote it while pregnant with my daughter but only very close friends and family knew I was pregnant, well that and anyone who saw me (think not so small whale!) but not having that many friends close by it was basically a secret. Strange right?! Well, no, I’d spent three or so years convinced I would never be a Mother, never carry a child and for me it was a nightmare every single day. Ok, but I was pregnant right, should have been over the moon?! Part of me was, but part of me was terrified it could all still go wrong, I wasn’t going to be able to believe it until I held my baby. So I wrote the below because I knew then and still know now, I wasn’t alone.
I love that we have Mother’s day and Father’s day, I am unusually blessed to have wonderful parents I count as friends as well as mentors and struck really lucky with fab inlaws too! I know this isn’t the case for everyone but today I want to send a whole lot of love out to some special Mums who might find this Sunday a bit tough.
Dreaming of motherhood
If you are currently trying to become a Mum, dealing with the loss of a baby or child at any stage or battling infertility then I just want to say you’re not alone, hang in there, you are more amazing than you can probably realise right now and I truly hope your dreams come true. This Sunday may not seem like a day for you and you might feel like burning down every card shop you pass, totally understandable! I have no advice, it hurts and it’s hard but it makes you no less special, your dreams of motherhood count! Your dreams of motherhood count whatever your situation, maybe you haven’t met the one you want to start a family with yet or maybe you are taking on the adoption process, whatever your journey, whatever stage of that journey, you are not alone.
If you know someone in this situation maybe give them a call, pop round, send them some flowers and just let them know you care. Infertility, miscarriage and even just trying for a family is something we tend to keep under wraps until success comes along but this can take years for some, the scars can run deep and the strength it requires while putting on a brave face can be breathtaking, like being hit head on by a car but having to get up and pretend everything is ok every single day. These ladies are so special, their partners too, and need all the love we can spare!
Mums to be!
If you are lucky enough to be expecting your first baby this mother’s day then happy mother’s day to you! You are no less of a Mum because your baby isn’t in the world just yet. I love that you can now buy ‘Mum to be’ cards for Mother’s day. Being several pounds heavier, getting no sleep, experiencing a new pain or ache everyday while struggling with a list of foods and drinks you can’t have, trying to count kicks, sleep on your left side and prepare for a new arrival can leave you frazzled, harassed and downright miserable a times. Of course the joy of experiencing a kick and feeling that bond is pretty marvellous at the same time but I have a whole new world respect for my own Mum and all the Mums out there!! I have been shocked by the lack of respect and support for pregnant women in our society, don’t get me wrong it’s not all like that but pregnant does not automatically mean glowing, blossoming, happiness and joy. We could all do to remember that a smile, opening a door, giving up a seat or just listening can mean the world to someone, in fact that goes for everyone you meet!
I’m sure there are lots of other unsung hero Mums I haven’t mentioned here but it might just get some of us thinking and talking, and if it does that then it would mean the world to me. I hope you all have a wonderful time celebrating your fabulous Mums on Sunday and get totally spoiled if you’re a Mum yourself, have a think and see if you have any unsung hero Mums in your life that could do with some love, a hug or a text and get that card in the post today if you had forgotten!
So, that said, again, I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating Mother’s Day this weekend, do have a think about whether you might know someone who would struggle with this day and maybe reach out. Mother’s are quite incredible no matter what form they take, Grandmothers, Mothers, Godmothers, Mum’s to be and more, cheers to you all!